I was in the UD Emerging Leadership Program in in 2007-2008. I had the pleasure of hearing you speak and participating as you guided us through your book.

Imagine my surprise when I went to my Amazon basket this morning and discovered your book, “The Ten Truths About Leadership, It’s Not Just About Winning.” I knew I hadn’t put it there and I recalled my 18 year old son telling my daughter about a guest speaker he heard in class at UD last night.

So I texted him about the book and he replied that he had met you last night in his athletics class and said “he gave us the best speech I ever heard!”

I was taken aback. So I wanted to express my thanks to you, and awe, that you were able to touch my freshmen football player in the same way you touched my  40-something self 11 years ago. You have an amazing gift and you’ve given us a new topic to connect on.

Sincerely,

Kathleen Sargent

The back story is that I’ve had the privilege for the last twelve years serving as a guest lecturer for a Life Skills course for freshmen athletes at the University of Dayton. Utilizing my book as one of their required readings, each of the students is charged with writing a reflection paper on the takeaways from the book. I continue to be impressed each semester with their collective impressions as to how both the book and the lectures provide purpose meaning and perspective as they begin to navigate their way through a college education as a student athlete.

Since retirement 16 years ago, I have been blessed to be able to speak to countless organizations and groups ranging from 2000 IBM sales reps in Las Vegas to a leadership class at Fairmont High School in Kettering, Ohio. It is always my hope that in some small way I will have made an impact in their lives. Recognizing that our lives are ultimately defined by making a difference in other people’s lives we can never discount the impact we can have ­­­when we deepen our level or understanding of others and no longer fear the differences but learn to honor them. I believe that more than winning is the need to serve a higher purpose. The ultimate challenge for all of us as individuals, parents, bosses, employees, coaches, teachers, volunteers, students, siblings and parents is never commit the sins of selfishness, ingratitude, or ungratefulness, as we pursue our dream. We all have within us the need to to be loved and respected and we only become more human as leaders when we learn to love and serve others. Hopefully the letter from Kathleen will serve as a reminder that, “The only time we realize our dreams is when we help other people realize theirs.”

“To laugh often and much; To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.”

As I shared with the 300 leaders that were in attendance, I typically end any workshop or keynote that I deliver with that poem, but I wanted to start with it because I believe it spoke to them about who they are and what they do. And while I have presented to well over 250 organizations since I retired 13 years ago, there are so few people who have the opportunity in their professional lives to connect the dots between what they do every day and the impact it has on people’s lives.  And as I said to those 300 leaders who were in attendance, that is their gift and that is their blessing!

I was convinced at The Berry Company that we did not sell advertisers bigger ads or expanded yellow page advertising programs; we sold them dreams. When their advertising was most effective, it generated increased inquires leading to increased sales and greater financial rewards. This could be, and was, life changing! When we strayed from that philosophy, we were simply just selling ads.

As the Christmas season is upon us, it is a wonderful time to reflect on our blessings. It is also the time of year to be reminded of those who are less fortunate. When I chaired the United Way campaign in 2003, it truly was for me a life changing experience – an epiphany! Being a sales guy, it was very important for me to understand the product we were selling. In other words, why would or should people choose to support United Way? To that end, I visited all 65 agencies that we were supporting and for the first time in my life I truly witnessed hopelessness. Whether it was Daybreak, Artemis, Mercy Manor or the other 63 agencies I met and heard stories of, there were people who were either born into a circumstance or got into a situation and could not get out without a helping hand. Every United Way speech or appeal that I delivered would always end with the same message, “To the whole world you may be one person but to one person you may be the whole world.”

To quote Edward Evert Hale, “I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything but I can do something. I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do.”

Our greatest gift is the power to choose. Whether it a smile, a friendly word, a sympathetic ear, or a helping hand during this holiday season, let us all be reminded that the most important thing in the world is to be important to someone.

Pete Luongo is retired president and CEO of The Berry Co., Leader, Lecturer, Public Speaker and Author of “10 Truths About Leadership … It’s Not Just About Winning”. Reach him at pete@petespeaks.com.