Is loyalty defined differently today than it was during my career? Is it the same loyalty that guaranteed lifetime employment that my generation believed was our inalienable right? No, it’s different! There is strong evidence that mutual disloyalty is not exclusive to the work place. The lack of loyalty has extended far beyond business impacting family, church, school, government, community and every aspect of our society.

Timothy Keiningham and Leran Akosky are professional associates of mine whom I collaborated with on research for my book, “10 Truths about Leadership, It’s Not About Winning”. In their recently published book, “Why Loyalty Matters”, they suggest that, without us knowing it, the world has shifted from a society of long-term relationships to a society of transactional relationships and ephemeral contacts. This is a natural byproduct of an increasing dynamic economic environment in which we live. They suggest we have become more flexible and more mobile, which has made business more efficient. And while this has made us wealthier, it has also made us less loyal!

As leaders we must realize that loyalty no longer emerges from blind obedience. The reality is people don’t stay in one job, nor should they. Marriages do fail, and abusive ones should end. Companies do fail, sometimes because of bad management and in others the marketplace isn’t buying what they are selling. Loyalty just doesn’t happen. Being loyal is a deliberate act. Making loyalty a driving force in your organization is never easy. We’ve got to give employees a sense of purpose, a set of principles, vision, and an environment where we can help them get what they want. We all want to part of something special, something bigger than ourselves. To that end every significant relationship should be treated as if it will last a lifetime, and be important to mutual success.

I can quote form countless books, periodicals and case studies, but in the end, I believe most of us want to be loyal to something other than ourselves. But to unlock the power of loyalty we need clarity regarding “how loyal” we really are, and “to what” we are loyal to? It only happens when we amplify the quality of our lives through that joy that can only come from having friends, family, co-workers, and others who are willing to bond with us. It is the collection of those positive loyal connections that make strong organizations and strong relationships.

When we are faced with the sudden passing of a spouse, parent, child, sibling or a friend we are painfully reminded that we must live every day to its fullest! I have a poster in my exercise room of a Steve Prefontaine quote, the long distance runner in the 60’s, that reminds me of that every morning. “To not give the best of ourselves each day is to sacrifice the gift.”  Said another way, “yesterday’s history, tomorrow’s a mystery, and today’s a gift”. But, I believe Tom’s death reminded us of something even more important than recognizing how precious life is and never taking it for granted. You see, every single person that attended the viewing, the mass, and the reception, was touched by Tom in some special way!  His life was not about duration (he was only with us for 56 years) but rather it was about intensity. Whether it was real estate transaction, a fund raiser at Alter, a family vacation, or just a simple conversation with a friend, Tom gave all of himself! Too often we associate success in life with time and experience. It’s neither, it’s about impact! Tom understood the power he possessed as a human being and he brought hope and promise to every human being he touched!

And so, there is a more powerful lesson that we can all learn from Tom’s passing! Accepting that we all recognize that none of us are getting out of this life alive, how do we want to be remembered? What will they say about us when they share our eulogy? It won’t be about titles or designations, the accumulation of wealth, or the other trappings that are far too often associated with success! If it is it’s a life unfulfilled! Quite the contrary! Our lives will be valued by making a difference in other’s people’s lives! The poem by Ralph Waldo Emerson that was visible at the viewing and included in the mass program articulated it so beautifully:

To laugh often and much; To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.

Tom understood the most important thing in the world is to be important to someone. He appreciated his value as human being and while he left us far too early he taught us an incredibly valuable lesson, “to the whole world you may be one person but one to person you may be the whole world!”

“To laugh often and much; To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.”

As I shared with the 300 leaders that were in attendance, I typically end any workshop or keynote that I deliver with that poem, but I wanted to start with it because I believe it spoke to them about who they are and what they do. And while I have presented to well over 250 organizations since I retired 13 years ago, there are so few people who have the opportunity in their professional lives to connect the dots between what they do every day and the impact it has on people’s lives.  And as I said to those 300 leaders who were in attendance, that is their gift and that is their blessing!

I was convinced at The Berry Company that we did not sell advertisers bigger ads or expanded yellow page advertising programs; we sold them dreams. When their advertising was most effective, it generated increased inquires leading to increased sales and greater financial rewards. This could be, and was, life changing! When we strayed from that philosophy, we were simply just selling ads.

As the Christmas season is upon us, it is a wonderful time to reflect on our blessings. It is also the time of year to be reminded of those who are less fortunate. When I chaired the United Way campaign in 2003, it truly was for me a life changing experience – an epiphany! Being a sales guy, it was very important for me to understand the product we were selling. In other words, why would or should people choose to support United Way? To that end, I visited all 65 agencies that we were supporting and for the first time in my life I truly witnessed hopelessness. Whether it was Daybreak, Artemis, Mercy Manor or the other 63 agencies I met and heard stories of, there were people who were either born into a circumstance or got into a situation and could not get out without a helping hand. Every United Way speech or appeal that I delivered would always end with the same message, “To the whole world you may be one person but to one person you may be the whole world.”

To quote Edward Evert Hale, “I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything but I can do something. I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do.”

Our greatest gift is the power to choose. Whether it a smile, a friendly word, a sympathetic ear, or a helping hand during this holiday season, let us all be reminded that the most important thing in the world is to be important to someone.

Pete Luongo is retired president and CEO of The Berry Co., Leader, Lecturer, Public Speaker and Author of “10 Truths About Leadership … It’s Not Just About Winning”. Reach him at pete@petespeaks.com.

Everyone has a favorite Arnold Palmer story. Mine took place at the Senior PGA event played at NCR Country Club several years ago. My friend Gene Hallman from Birmingham, Alabama reached out to me before the tournament, and he enlisted me to both introduce Arnold Palmer to the community as well as assist him during the event. He had asked me to help with player relations since I knew a number of the senior players from both the Bruno’s event in Birmingham, which the Berry Company and BellSouth were cosponsors, and the Bell South Senior event in Nashville.

I was assigned to help the players with registration and get them to the locker room upon their arrival. While many of the professionals were not easily recognizable, there was great anticipation for the arrival of both Jack Nicklaus and Arnold Palmer. When Jack arrived along with his wife Barbara they were very pleasant (at least Barbara) and congenial to volunteers in the room. Once they signed in I escorted Jack to the locker room. He acknowledged a few of the PGA professionals when we arrived at the locker room and I returned to registration. About an hour later, Arnold arrived and I can best describe it as “he lit the room up.” He took the time to introduce himself to every volunteer in the room (20 or so) and thanked them for volunteering to make the tournament a positive experience for both he and his fellow PGA professionals (there is no doubt that if we had had selfies back then Arnold would have been there another 20 minutes taking pictures)! When he finished registering, I escorted him to the locker room. When we entered, where a number of professionals were having lunch, every one stood up and introduced themselves to Arnold. When we turned the corner to enter the locker room, a receiving line had formed of not only other PGA golfers but agents, tour officials and everyone present. I stood and watched as he shook hands and took time with every person, some he knew and others he did not!

The morale of the story is that while Nicklaus and Palmer will always be spoken in the same breath as two of golf’s greatest, that experience reminded me that while Nicklaus will be remembered for his history of accomplishments, Palmer will be for the impact he made in people’s lives. Webster’s definition of legacy, “as a lasting contribution from a person, conceived as a testament to their honor”, was best described by his close friend Nicklaus when he said, “Arnold’s legacy is that people followed him, people adored him. He was the most popular person to ever play the game.”

As I have written so often in the past, there are leaders that lead because that is what they do and there are leaders that lead because that is who they are. There are three distinctions that separate the two. First, they possess the courage and character to lead others because its core to their existence. Secondly, leadership is not just something they do from eight to five, and it is not a title or a designation. It permeates every aspect of their lives; as parents, teachers, coaches, volunteers, friend, siblings, spouses, and friends. Finally, and most importantly, they value their lives as leaders by making a difference in other people’s lives!

How will you be remembered? For your history of accomplishments or your legacy of making a difference in other people’s lives?

As the series comes to an end it’s gratifying that we’ve averaged over 300 views of the posts each month. I want to thank everyone from CEO’s to small businesses to stay-at-home moms for the feedback as to how the blogs have benefitted them.

One last thought: There is a groundswell today purporting that more important than winning is a need to serve a higher purpose. I believe that winning is the ultimate prize, but it can never be at the expense of others. We can and must do both. The ultimate challenge for all of us as individuals, regardless of whether we are bosses, employees, coaches, teachers, volunteers, students or parents is to never commit the sin of selfishness, ingratitude, or ungratefulness as we pursue our dreams. I believe the only time we realize our dreams is when we help others realize theirs. Those that do it best possess three qualities; first, they have the courage to lead others because its core to their existence, and secondly, leadership is not a title or designation, it’s not something they do part time. It permeates every aspect of their lives. And finally, they value their lives as leaders by making a difference in other people’s lives!

Look for more on my blog in the upcoming weeks and months, and thanks for your support!

During the past 11 months, we have discussed each discipline of The Leadership Pledge and the 10 Truths associated with them. The truths not only serve as the underpinnings of the pledge, but also serve an important role as life’s lessons. Is the journey complete with The Leadership Pledge directing us to hire people who have a high probability of being successful, provide them the tools to do their job, tell them what we expect, share honest feedback and hold them accountable for their performance by asking for their trust, commitment, and loyalty? Not quite.

Organizations that experience long term sustainable success understand the balance between winning and creating an environment where their employees feel valued, respected and part of something special. There has been a constant in the number of those “special” organizations. Their leaders have mastered Truth No. 10, “Accept yourself as you exist, accept others as they exist, and in the context of differences and similarities, finding better ways of coping effectively as a behavior driven organization.”

Until we have mastered truth No. 10, it’s unlikely we can answer the question: How do we value our lives as leaders? We must find the courage and clarity to lead others in all aspects of our lives because the answer to the question as to how we value our lives as leaders is by making a difference in other people’s lives.

I want to tell you about four very special people that I have had the privilege of working with since retirement. I have come to admire them not only as successful leaders in their chosen professions, but as leaders who give back because they understand that is how their lives will ultimately be valued.

David Ganzarto, CEO of Alternate Solutions Home Care, Jeff Hoagland, CEO of The Dayton Development Coalition, Marty Grunder, President and Owner of Grunder Landscaping, and Jim Place, head football coach at Ponitz High School and a leader in character education. They all come from diverse backgrounds and lead very different organizations. So what do they have in common?

First, they all learned to accept themselves for who they are. Their competitiveness and intensity manifests into a passion that ultimately defines their uniqueness. We can associate this quality best with servant leadership.

Robert Greenleaf, the father of servant leadership, draws a wonderful distinction between natural leaders and natural servants. Natural leaders are decisive and need to be in charge. Natural servants will assume leadership only if they define it as a way to serve.

Greenleaf explains that while most people believe natural leaders use a more directive style and natural servants use a more participative style, this is not the case. He says this confuses style with character. Natural servants use whatever leadership style is necessary to best serve the needs of those they lead. David, Jeff, Marty and Jim all share that unique quality called character.

Once we’ve learned to accept ourselves, we are void of self doubt. It’s with that peace of mind we are able to extend our energy outward to others.

Accepting others as they exist is where the magic begins. When we deepen our level of understanding of others we no longer fear the differences, but learn to honor them. Only when we’ve learned to accept ourselves can we accept others as they exist. It’s the magic of all relationships. It’s called the power of two.

David, Jeff, Marty, and Jim have developed a keen understanding that their success as leaders is based almost entirely  on their ability to attract talented performers who bring both passion and potential. It’s that simple recognition that tells us those people who have been the greatest inspiration to us, are those who convinced us we could be more than we thought we could be. In each case these four great leaders know that they can help their employees/student athletes be more than they are,  but not something they’re not!

And finally, it’s about finding better ways of coping effectively as a behavior-driven organization. It’s about believing that if we do things right we will achieve long-term sustainable results. It’s about The Leadership Pledge.

When organizations focus the behavior that drives results and possess a collective resolve built on self-acceptance and acceptance of others, results will follow. I guarantee it. It’s not easy, but it’s simple.

Pete Luongo is retired president and CEO of The Berry Co., Leader, Lecturer, Public Speaker and Author of “10 Truths About Leadership … It’s Not Just About Winning”. Reach him at pete@petespeaks.com.

Read the original article here.

Before I attempt to answer that, let’s revisit “The Leadership Pledge” and the five disciplines that define the behavior-driven model in my book. The code of conduct starts with recruiting and hiring people who possess both character and talent and have a high probability of being successful. Then, provide them with the tools to do their job, tell them what we expect, share honest feedback and hold them accountable and responsible for their individual performance.

In past columns we discussed the fifth discipline and the difficulty in measuring personal accountability. In determining trust and commitment as the first two legs of the stool, it was obvious to me that the third one had to focus on our corporate culture. Caring about our employees began with our founder L.M. Berry, and was handed down to each successive generation of leaders. I knew if we were going to preserve this special culture, loyalty had to have its place.

But would it qualify today, when society is losing the sense of loyalty as one of the most important principles in our lives, because we simply have stopped practicing it?

Loyalty is defined much differently today than it was when the journey began, and certainly throughout the 90’s when we introduced The Leadership Pledge within The Berry Co. as our operating philosophy.

Is it the same loyalty that guaranteed lifetime employment that our grandparents and parents believed was their inalienable right? No, it’s different but it’s also the same.

There is strong evidence that mutual disloyalty is not exclusive to employees at work. The lack of loyalty has extended far beyond business impacting family, church, school, community and every aspect of our society.

Timothy Keiningham and Lerzan Aksoy are professional associates of mine doing research for our next book. In their own soon-to-be-published book, “Why Loyalty Matters”, they suggest, without us noticing it, the world has shifted from a society of many long-term relationships to a society of transactional relationships and ephemeral contacts. This is a natural byproduct of the increasing dynamic economic environment in which we live. We have become more flexible and more mobile workers, which has made businesses more efficient. While this made us wealthier, it also made us less loyal.

Kouzes and Posner define this difference in their book, “The Leadership Challenge,” where they state, “In the end, durable relationships are more likely to produce collaboration than short-term ones.” But, there is an important amendment to this. The reality is that people don’t stay in one job, nor should they. Marriages do fail, and abusive ones should end. Companies do fail, sometimes because of bad management and in others the marketplace isn’t buying what they are selling. The point is, every significant relationship should be treated as if it will last a lifetime, and be important to future mutual success.

I can quote from countless books, periodicals and case studies, but in the end, I believe most of us are loyal to something other than ourselves. But to unlock the power of loyalty we need clarity regarding how “loyal” we really are, and to what we are especially loyal.

As leaders, we must realize loyalty does not emerge from blind obedience. You can’t ask for what you are not willing to give. We’ve got to give employees a sense of purpose, a set of principles, vision and an environment where they can get what they want.

Loyalty doesn’t just happen. Being loyal is a deliberate act. Making loyalty a driving force in your organization and in your life is never easy. We talk intentionally at The University of Dayton about a learning and living community. It only happens when we amplify the quality of our lives through the joy that can only come from having friends, family, co-workers and others who are willing to bond with us. It is the collection of those positive loyal connections that make strong organizations and strong communities.

So yes, as Truth No. 9 says, “It’s OK to be loyal to your customer, your company and your fellow employee.”

Pete Luongo is retired president and CEO of The Berry Co., Leader, Lecturer, Public Speaker and Author of “10 Truths About Leadership … It’s Not Just About Winning”. Reach him at pete@petespeaks.com.

Read the original article here.

As a reminder, it starts with recruiting talented performers who have a high probability of being successful, providing them with the tools to do their job, telling them what we expect, and sharing honest and meaningful feedback.

Last month we discussed personal accountability and responsibility as the fifth discipline of The Leadership Pledge and the difficulty of measuring success in this area. I shared with you the three-legged stool that defines those criteria as trust, commitment and loyalty.

It bears repeating that whether the other person in a relationship is an employee, a customer, a peer, a supplier, a life partner or your teenage child, you cannot ask for trust if you are not willing to give it. Remember, trust only happens when we are transparent, candid and keep our word. And, by the way, when we display that type of honesty in a relationship, we have the right to expect it in return.

Personal accountability is a subject that has been written about and debated since Adam and Eve. Some would argue, and with good reason, that it is at the heart of the economic nightmare we face as a nation and the world. Like most issues we confront, not only in the workplace but in all aspects of our society, there is always a very simple answer to issues that most people want to complicate. When do we know personal accountability is alive and well in an organization? And how do we measure it?

As I share in my book, “10 Truths About Leadership … It’s Not Just About Winning,” we had developed our five disciplines of The Leadership Pledge, including finding people who possessed both character and talent and who had a high probability of being successful, providing them with the tools to do their job, telling them what we expect, and sharing honest feedback.

But I struggled with how to help our people know what it looked like and felt like when they truly accepted accountability and responsibility for their own performance as the fifth and final step.

It wasn’t clear to me as how to measure success or failure in this area until I heard Coach Lou Holtz, the retired Notre Dame football coach and one of my favorite people, share his thoughts on this subject from his book, “Winning Ways.” I knew instantaneously that his three questions: “Can I trust you?”, “Are you committed to excellence?”, and “Do you care about me?”, were getting me closer to the answer.

Trust and commitment were a natural fit, but we had made the third issue of caring about “me” (love), a prerequisite in our journey long before we became concerned about measuring accountability. I knew the third one had to focus on corporate culture, an important part of what made The Berry Co. special — employees feeling valued, respected, and part of something special. If we were going to preserve that special culture then loyalty — which I’ll cover in a later column — had to be the third leg of the stool that would define accountability.

So let’s start with trust. The first thing we must ask ourselves if we want to know if someone is truly accountable starts with asking the question, “Can I trust you?” Is there anything more important in any relationship personal or professional? The answer is an unequivocal no!

I want to revisit a comment that I shared with you in last month’s article because it is tantamount to the trust issue. Regardless of whether the other person in a relationship is an employee, a customer, a peer, a supplier, a life partner or your teenage child, you cannot ask for something you are not willing to give.

Trust only happens in a relationship when we effectively manage our half of a relationship exhibiting trust in all aspects.

In a world where greed, instant gratification, self-indulgence and winning at all cost have become prevalent, trusting relationships have dwindled. It’s only when we earn trust from our employees, spouses, our children, our partners, our athletes, our students, our peers, our patients and our friends can we expect it in return.

Truth #7 tells us, “That if we have no trust, we have not relationship.” I can assure that no relationship, either professional or personal, can survive without it. There can be nothing more critical to successful relationships than our willingness to trust one another. Trust only happens when leaders are transparent, candid and keep their word. Candidness is only an asset when it is delivered in a thoughtful and caring manner. Caring simply means that you are personally invested to a point that you’ll make the difficult decision to preserve people’s integrity and the principles of the organization.

Being accountable for outcomes must start and end with trust. The survival rate without it is zero.

Pete Luongo is retired president and CEO of The Berry Co., Leader, Lecturer, Public Speaker and Author of “10 Truths About Leadership … It’s Not Just About Winning”. Reach him at pete@petespeaks.com.

Read the original article here.

During the past seven months, in the context of this monthly column, I’ve introduced The Leadership Pledge. This model applies to virtually every aspect of life, from business to home, from community to playing field, from church to volunteer associations. In short, the pledge declares that “in all things, behavior drives results.” As described in my book, the lessons learned and the truths associated with The Leadership Pledge are simple to understand, yet profound in terms of potential results.

A quick review of the model tells us that we first must recruit employees who have a high probability of success. Then we must provide them with the tools to do their job and tell them what we expect. Finally, we have to share honest feedback with them. You can see how these steps are universal for every leadership position, be it a boss, teacher, coach or parent.

So what’s left? We asked ourselves that same question as our company continued its journey to find a better way to do business. Amazingly, the conclusion was simple and straightforward — we had run out of things to do. Or more specifically, that was the extent of the preparation: find good people, equip them, define the goals and regularly meet with them to discuss their progress. The final step: People must accept accountability for their performance. It was a defining moment in the process.